Changing Face
by Phoenixian
Summary: Two wizarding wars. One furry little problem. Two very different approaches to life in general. Series of one shots spanning the lives of Lupin & Tonks, together and apart, with appearances by Teddy and many others. Dedicated to my favourite shape shifters.
1. Gone

"Remus"

He was moving for the gate and she had to grab his arm to stop him. He seemed intent on escaping.

"Remus, I don't think you should go to America, or wherever it is you plan on going. Not now."

He blinked back at her expressionlessly. But what could she tell him? What reasons could she give him for not going? Hell, she would go herself if not for Frank and Neville, she would quit her job and escape the memories. So who was she to tell him anything? Still, she had to try.

"I know it seems like there's nothing here for you" she said slowly, "But maybe there is and you just can't see it yet."

He continued to look at her as though they were simply strangers passing in the street, as though he too was already gone, just like everyone else, gone, never coming back. Clearly nothing she was saying was working. She sighed in frustration, thinking.

"What about Harry?" she came up with finally. "Someday he'll need someone to tell him the truth, to tell stories about Lily and James, the good ones, to keep them alive for him, to tell him how much they loved him. Who better to do that than you Remus?"

He frowned. "Anyone, Alice, anyone."

"I don't believe that" she said, taking hold of his arm once more as he made to turn away and when he looked at her again his expression was cold.

"I didn't ask you too."


	2. Best thing

"Do you trust me?" She asks gently, fingers curling around her wand as his stormy grey eyes gaze back at her, making her feel light headed. He smiles. "Trust isn't a skill I've spent a lot of time developing." Same smile in place on his thin face, but there is tension beneath it, hidden, just not very well. She lowers her wand uncertainly and he read the nervousness in her face. He is to blame for this. He closes the distance between them and takes her hand.

"I do trust you Dora" he assures her. "You're completely insane and you drive me crazy sometimes" he says, smiling, "but I trust you."

She returns his smile uncertainly, fingers tightening around his own.

"I'm sorry Remus" she says, avoiding his gaze. "I know your life hasn't been easy or simple, and I've always just made it that much harder."

"And yet somehow you still managed to be the best thing in it."


	3. Girls

"What would you say if you wanted to talk to a girl?" Remus asked nervously, avoiding his friends gaze as a blush rose in his cheeks. James stared back at him, shocked. Remus considering any girl was unheard of.

Sirius turned around. "I would say put on your crash helmet baby, because you are about to have the ride of your life!"

Unfortunately Lily chose that moment to appear at the bottom of the girls staircase, look of disgust firmly in place as she eyed the four boys.

James leapt to his feet, smiling guiltily. "I would say please ignore my friend, his parents dropped him on his head when he was a baby, over and over, because they do not love him."


	4. The last thing

Why is it that some memories are crystal clear, whole conversations playing over in your head yet you cannot remember the last thing you said to him before he slid away into the darkness. You used to remember but now it's been so long and so much, or maybe so very little has happened since then and you didn't think to write it down so now it is lost and a part of you knows it doesn't really matter, that it might even be better this way, that you need to let go and you wonder how you ever went from a strong independent woman to this shell of a person that you are now, but the rest of you still prefers the pain, and the pain is all you have left, the pain and the baby that grows inside of you, the baby that you love so much that it hurts, but also the baby that scared him off, and so despite how much you love it you also can't help but resent it too because you were happy and now all you can do is sit and wait and wonder if your husband is thinking about you, or if he is even still alive.


	5. Pie

"Dora, you know we shouldn't be here" he hissed, sliding his arm around the back of her chair, eyes planted on the door as his wife ignored him, forking the last crumbs of an entire apple pie into her mouth and leaning back with a grown, hands planted on her swollen belly.

"Stop it" she said finally, "I'm not exactly recognizable and no sane death eater is going to be looking in a muggle tea shop for members of the order. Besides I needed pie, and you chose the place." She licked her fingers thoughtfully as he shot her a glance.

"You're right" she told him, though he hadn't said anything. "I wouldn't consider my cousin sane, though even she would have a hard time tracking us here... america is so interesting" she said, eyeing a group of teenaged boys on the other side of the shop who were all sitting in silence, faces hidden by their menus, but it was more than clear that they were all eyeing the young server who flitted around the counter in tight clothing, her bubbly laughter ringing out every time someone approached her, her long blond hair falling in waves to her waist.

"I'm glad I didn't choose blond" Tonks said and Remus finally turned to the strange face and short black hair that hid his wife's true identity.

"You're quite frustrating, you do know that don't you?" he asked her with a sigh. She leaned towards him and he couldn't resist the offered kiss. She smiled sweetly. "You can blame yourself for everything" she said, "Even a metamorphmagus can't get herself pregnant."

"Would you lower your voice?" he demanded sharply, glancing around to ensure that no one had heard them but she just rolled her eyes.

"This pie hasn't made me feel any better" she informed him, as though this too was his fault.

"Well maybe you shouldn't have eaten the whole thing" he offered.

"I thought there'd be a prize inside. You know how muggles have prizes in their pies."

He raised an eyebrow, head tilted to the side.

"Ya...I don't think that's a thing" he said, shaking his head. He reached out and placed his hand on her belly, earning a light kick from his unborn child. He smiled. "So how are you feeling?"

Tonks made a face. "Emotionally unstable. I think I need pudding."


	6. Professor

"Professor Lupin!"

Tonks was spread out on her stomach on the sitting room floor, feet in the air, rolls of parchment, photographs and diagrams spread out around her, and she was sick and tired of working. The hot summer air moved through the open windows, calling her outside, and even her thin clothing seemed too much for the warm afternoon.

She heard the creak of bedsprings in the next room as Remus responded to her page, appearing in the doorway a moment later wearing sweatpants and nothing else, his many scars visible on his bare skin, some thin, white and faded, others red and fresh. His hair was mussed from sleep and he scowled down at her where she lay, looking up at him curiously, running a strand of pink hair between her fingers.

"Don't call me that" he demanded grumpily, "It makes me feel dirty."

Tonks grinned and leapt lightly to her feet, and he watched her approach, the frown seeming to fade helplessly from his face. She slid her hands up his bare chest and around his neck, knotting her fingers in his hair. Remus slid his arms around her waist, staring into her violet eyes.

"Oh but professor, I have so many better ways of making you feel dirty" she said, but he ignored the comment. He was already backing up into the bedroom, pulling her with him.


	7. Parents

Teddy Lupin had a lot of friends. He had aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents, he had a godfather, and maybe you could even say he had brothers and sisters if you wanted to push it, but what he didn't have were parents, not really. For Teddy's parents had long ago become memories, not his own of course, but other peoples which he fed off hungrily. You see, to Teddy, dad was the man who held him in a photograph or waved from the ranks of the order of the Phoenix. He was a name in old school and ministry records, and he tended to hold a starring role in many of the stories that were told to him by Harry, or Ron, or Bill or any other family member to whom he wasn't related, not really. To Teddy, Remus Lupin was his love of knowledge and books, his mild temper and his cool head.

To Teddy, mom was two and a half decades of photo albums and letters and an assortment of awards and achievements from her days in the ministry. To Teddy, Nymphadora Tonks was the sadness he saw in his grandmother's eyes, the violet color that he liked to keep his hair, and the way he had a tendency to trip over things, even when he was standing still.

To Teddy Lupin, parents meant lying in the grass in a quiet graveyard, tracing the words on the matching gravestones with a thin finger and wondering what it was like to die.


	8. Take notice

"Are you alright?" I ask him. This earns me little more than an irritated look, as though my concern annoys him. I reach out and touch his cheek lightly, surprising him. He draws away from me, not unkindly, but certainly pointedly, shaking his head once.

"Goodnight" he says, clearly trying to get rid of me.

"Night" I say back, "Don't stay up too late."

Even to myself I sound frightened and weak, yet he doesn't seem to notice, or maybe he's trying not to care.


	9. Dog years

Remus yawned widely and shook his head to wake himself up, his overgrown fringe coming to rest in his eyes. The bright sun overhead did nothing but remind him that it had been a good three days since the last time his head had met a pillow. He looked out across the remains of the scene, order members conversing with aurors and other ministry officials in tight groups. An apparently dead death eater was being wrapped up in a clean white sheet by a harassed looking young witch who shot annoyed glances at the lot of them as though it was their fault that she had had to get up and go to work that morning.

"Remus"

He turned to meet Lily, James and Sirius as they left mad eye and Frank to oversee the last of the memory modifications. They too appeared tired and draw, all of them bleeding from one wound or another though they all seemed in good spirits, most likely because they hadn't spent the night before last in the form of a werewolf. He drilled his palms into his eyes to force them to stay open.

"I can't help but notice you're wearing the same clothes that you had on yesterday" Sirius commented, pulling at a singed thread on his sleeve. "I don't suppose you were with a young women last night my fine furry friend?" he asked.

"I don't suppose I was" he said, repressing another yawn, "Some of us actually do work around here." He smiled.

"Remus, go home" Lily ordered him. "You're no good to anyone running on fumes. You need to go home and get some rest. And Sirius will go with you to make sure it happens."

"Oh will he?" Sirius asked.

"Yes" she replied without offering him so much as a glance. "Remus, get a couple of hours of sleep and if you're lucky a toothbrush and a shower might make it feel like more. " She crossed her arms, daring him to argue.

"I can't just leave, and neither can Sirius."

"Sure we can" Sirius said, resigned to the idea, "I was going to bug off anyway."

"And were headed home too" James said with a shrug. "I think the real aurors can handle things here."

Lily smiled, satisfied. "Your work here is done Remus Lupin. Sirius will take you to that diner you like for breakfast , then he'll take you home and tuck you in."

"Ya? Will he be giving me milk and cookies and singing me a lullaby too?" he asked sarcastically. They all looked to Sirius.

"The lullaby thing is a little weird, but milk and cookies could definitely happen if you're good." He clapped James on the shoulder and turned away. "Let's go" he threw over his shoulder.

Remus slid into one of the plastic booths wondering how he had never noticed how wonderful sitting down could be. He glanced up and caught Sirius looking at him strangely.

"WHat?"

"Nothing... I was just thinking. Whoever came up with the formula that every dog year is seven human years?"

"Is it? I don't know, where the hell did that question come from?"

Sirius shrugged.

"So I look that tired?" Remus asked.

Another shrug.

"I was just thinking about it though. With all the murder and mayhem and such that we deal with...I mean, how many years does this stuff take off our expiration dates?"

"Our expiration dates?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Sure, you know, were not exactly sitting on a beach drinking margharitas here."

"I think that would be more likely to take years off our life."

Sirius smiled. "Be worth it though."

"What can I get for you?" the waitress asked, appearing at their table in a flouncy skirt and high heels, blonde hair teased into a small mountain.

"We'll have all of page one" Sirius said, offering her a wink and his most charming smile.

Remus watched the waitress bounce away, heels clicking on the linoleum.

"Two years, I'd say. At least" he said.

"What?"

"I'd say that every year doing this has got to be at least two in human years."

Sirius nodded slowly. "I hear that brother. Cheers."


	10. The choice

It's a choice that many of us come to face. Die to save the one you love, or learn to live without them. For some it will be the hardest decision they will ever have had to make. For others...for me there is no real choice. When you have already lost so much, when you have failed to save so many of the people that you love, then dying to save your wife becomes the simplest thing, maybe because you know that you can't live without out her, that her death would be the last straw, just one loss too many, and sure you have something to live for besides her these days, your own son, and James' boy, but these responsibilities will fall to someone else now as you throw yourself in front of the curse that was meant for the violet haired Nymph who fights beside you. You see her face as you fall, the last thing you will ever see and you are happy, for the briefest of moments all you can feel is joy and warmth as all the best memories you have pass through your mind just as they told you they would, and you think of your wife and your beautiful son, and you think of your friends and you wonder if you will see them now. There is no sound, there is no light, there isn't anything, and then the darkness comes and for the first time in your existence you are at peace.


	11. Passed on

The broom cupboard was musty and full of cobwebs, though this didn't bother the Weasley boys one bit as they slid inside and went to work. Cursing Filch's broomsticks had been a good idea in theory but the truth was the man had so many broom cupboards and even more brooms.

Footsteps broke through their concentration and they quickly slid from the cupboard and leaned innocently against the wall for it was certainly to late to escape. Had Lee Jordan not been in detention they would have had more warning, but you take what you can get.

Professor Lupin appeared around the corner, smiling as he spotted them.

"Nothing like a nice summer day indoors doing things we shouldn't?" he said. They exchanged a quick glance. Fred opened his mouth to speak.

"You needn't worry" Lupin said lightly, glancing down at his watch. "Filch is in the library dealing with a dung bomb and I've just seen Mrs. Norris in Hagrid's garden chasing gnomes. You should have plenty of time to finish off those brooms. "

"Have a good weekend boys" he said over his shoulder as he continued on his way, and they heard him whistling all the way down the corridor.


	12. Carefully

"You won't drop him Dora" Remus urged in frustration, trying for the umptieth time to make her take their son in her arms but she just glared back at him in defiance.

"I drop everything Remus, you know how clumsy I am, and you'll never forgive me if he falls on his head."

Remus forced himself not to laugh as he shifted the sleeping baby to his other arm.

"You managed to carry him around for the past nine months without-"

"Yes, and then I dropped him" She snapped, marching on ahead of them in the garden. Remus sighed.

"Dora, I have complete faith that you won't drop your own baby. I mean, you've managed to survive this long and have a child which suggests you have the ability to go substantial amounts of time without falling over or doing damage to yourself or others."

She scowled at him. "I've never held a baby before Teddy" she informed him."It's going to take me some time." She crossed her arms over her waist. "I'll hold him when were back inside and sitting down."

He shook his head. He did understand her fear. Teddy was so small and delicate, all new and seemingly so breakable.

"Fine" he said, "Maybe you're right, maybe you would drop him." He shrugged, turning away. He counted to three and looked back at his wife. Her hair had gone red, her eyes black and her face was screwed up.

"You really think I'd drop him, don't you?" she demanded angrily, eyes narrowed.

He made a noncommittal sound, bouncing Teddy gently and chewing on his lip, fighting a grin.

"You think that I can fight off death eaters and become an auror and take on any appearance I can think of but that I can't even hold my own son without ruining everything?"

Another shrug.

"GIve him to me" she demanded, stepping forward and holding out her arms in the way that her mother had shown her. "Come on, hand him over."

"Are you sure?" he asked slyly. Dora made an impatient noise and Remus finally lowered Teddy into her arms where he nestled in comfortably against his mother.

"Now that wasn't so hard was it?" Remus asked lightly, sliding an arm around his wife's shoulders and kissing her forehead.

"Manipulative bastard" she muttered, smiling down at her baby boy.


	13. Promises

"Dora, Please" Remus pleaded, banging his palm against the door. "I know how much you hate me right now, and you have every right too, hell, I hate myself right now, but everything I did...Dora, I was afraid, so afraid of what could happen, of losing you and the baby, and so I left you before you could leave me, I left because I was afraid that the baby would be like me...that it would be a monster, and I can't say I've completely forgotten about that, but it's something we can figure out... Dora?"

He heard her footsteps nearing the door but she didn't open it.

"So you just thought hey, my baby's going to be a werewolf so I should bail and leave Tonks to deal with something that I am the only one actually capable of handling? Are you fucking kidding me Remus? What the hell were you thinking? And don't you dare call my baby a monster again or I will curse you so badly that the full moon will be the least of your problems!" She shouted through the door, her voice rising with every word. "I'm an auror Remus, or at least I was, and I gave that up to be with you by the way, but in any case, I know curses you have never even heard of, and you were the bloody defense teacher!"

Remus closed his eyes and took several deep breaths before answering.

"Your right Dora, of course you are. There is nothing I can say now to make up for what I did to you. I'm so ashamed of myself-"

"You should be!"

"I abandoned you Dora, I abandoned you and our child because I was afraid and because I thought-"

"Don't you dare say you thought we'd be better off without you, don't you dare say it Remus Lupin."

He pressed his hands against the smooth wood.

"Dora, please open the door so that we can talk."

"What do you think were doing right now? I'm so mad I can't look at you Remus and why should I open the door? You certainly don't deserve it" she called.

"I went to see Harry Dora, I went to see him because I wanted to help him and when he found out... he yelled at me Dora, and I knew that everything he said was right on the mark and I couldn't believe what I had done, I was so ashamed and that made me angry, so I cursed him and ran out."

"You did what?" she shrieked.

"He's fine, I swear, I'm telling you this because he made me see, he made me think about what I had done to you, I was so guilty and after that there was nothing I could do but come back here and do whatever I could to get my life back, whatever that might mean, and I need you in my life Dora, more than you know."

"You're a bloody asshole." Her voice was lower, calm, and she spoke in her usual rough tone.

"Dora..."

There was a pause, then the door opened and Tonks appeared, still dressed in an oversized tshirt and shorts, mousy hair mussed from sleep, expression still furious, eyes damp.

"Dora..."

"So you're back" she said flatly, looking him up and down.

He nodded, a knot in his throat stopping his speech.

"You look like shit" she informed him.

"I'm back Dora. I'm back and I promise you that I am not going anywhere."

Her expression didn't change. "Don't make promises you've already broken" she said coldly.

"Dora, I'm so sorry. I can't believe-"

"Shutup" she said, breaking him off. She stared at him for several long moments, then...

"Fine" she said finally, chewing on her lip thoughtfully. "You're back, and I'll let you stay, but you're sleeping on the couch...and don't even think about touching me."

She nodded, then slammed the door in his face once more.


	14. Torture

"Come on Lupin, do you really think there's any way that you're going to track her down? She's one step ahead of you and she doesn't want to be found." Moody told him easily, returning his flask to an inside pocket, clearly undisturbed by his proteges absence.

"That's not her call" Remus snapped back in frustration. "She can't just take off like this without the order knowing where she's gone. She could be lying in a ditch somewhere. Does she want us to think she's been killed?" he demanded, shoving open the kitchen door with his fist, then turning on the older man for answers.

Moody shrugged, glancing around Tonk's vacant flat. "Women" he said finally, taking in Remus' anxious face and balled fists. "They always know exactly how to torture you."


	15. Bonds

"Do you, William Arthur, take Fleur Isabelle...?"

In the front row, the mothers of both the bride and groom were sobbing into their handkerchiefs, their husbands' arms around their shoulders as the four of them watched their two children make the eternal commitment. Tonks threw a sideways glance at her own husband next to her but he remained stony faced, his mind clearly on other things and she felt the mild sense of dread that had been building inside her expand just the slightest, because whatever was going through Remus' mind it couldn't possible be good. She reached to rest her hand on his arm but he made no sign to acknowledge the contact.

"...then I declare you bonded for life."

As the ceremony ended, the chairs were drawn away to one side to clear the floor for dancing and when Tonks took her eyes off the celebrations once more with a smile on her face it was to find that Remus had moved off without a word, though she could see him pacing around the perimeter of the marquee, wand in hand, ever watchful, ever vigilant as he strove to fill Moody's shoe, and she left him to it hoping that he might take the time to think things over, to clear his head, and maybe to let the overall happiness of the event sink in and rub off on him.

Tonks made her escape as soon as she was able, completely sick and tired of the cheery atmosphere and the sappy looks that passed unbidden between Fleur and Bill whenever they were within ten feet of each other. She was quite certain that she had never looked that way towards Remus, nor he to her and she was quite glad it had never come to that. Finding her husband however was a completely different matter. Sidestepping Xenophilius Lovegood as he made to set into her about her unique abilities she slid out into the darkness beyond the lighted dance floor, flowing marquee and bubbling delight and found herself wandering through the empty back garden and through the gate, nearly to the edge of the property where the enchantments and spells came to an end.

Remus had placed himself so close to the edge of the safety lines that they could have reached out and put an arm through them to be blown off by a dark curse, and he was standing, wand in hand looking as though he might be about to step beyond the boundaries, perhaps to take his chance against the eager death eaters who hovered on the other side.

But despite his ready stance and her ineptitude at any sort of stealth he didn't seem to notice her approach until she was right beside him, and it was quite clear that his mind couldn't be farther from dark wizards and infiltrations.

Tonks nudged him with her hip and shoulder, forcing him out of his own mind and back to the real world where his own innocent child had yet to become a monster and despite everything he was still wanted, needed and loved.

Tonks recognized the silvery lynx from the moment it appeared amid the crowd of astonished guests, but despite this she was still shocked when the patronus opened it's mouth and spoke in Kingsley's deep voice as she had seen before, but it was the words that tore into her as her mentor's voice silenced the crowd.

"The ministry has fallen. Scrimgeour is dead. They are coming."

She was, or had at least once been an auror, trained for situations such as these but what is anyone supposed to so when the whole world has fallen into chaos? It was clear that the enchantments around the burrow had failed as they had worried they might as panicked guests began to disapparate and in turn dark figures began to appear among them. On the other side of the marquee Tonks spotted Bill and Fleur sharing one last moment of desperate affection before they were forced to break apart and draw their wands, and she no longer envied them their elaborate wedding.

She seemed to have drawn her own wand instinctively and as a masked death eater appeared at her side with a loud pop she spun on him with trained accuracy in the same moment that he might have struck her down.

All around her those brave enough not to flee were mimicking her actions, proving that the death eaters would not be surrendered too so easily.

"Dora!"

Remus had fought his way to her side, all else forgotten as together they turned on their attackers.

"Protego!"

The spells were being thrown from all sides as they fought back. A jet of light flew over their heads and Tonks caught sight of Victor Krum dueling rather viciously with one of the death eaters. Sensing Remus close by she was free to scan the crowd for the one person who would make all the difference, who would be dead if they couldn't defend themselves, and who's end would be the final straw for her husband.

Kingsley appeared suddenly nearby just as another pop drew her eyes to the place in which Harry, Ron and Hermione had stood not a moment before, allowing her to draw a sigh of relief. No matter what happened, Harry at least had made it to safety.

She dodged a curse and shot her own back towards her opponent. The hasty counter attack caught the fool by surprise and sent him spinning into a poll, knocking the glorious marquee off it's legs so that it came tumbling down onto the heads of the dueling witches and wizards, only to be blasted away as the battle spilled out onto the lawn and into the garden.

Strong hands gripped her shoulders roughly and briefly.

"You need to change" Remus growled low in her ear, "Now. Before _she _comes."

And then he was gone again, spinning away and disappearing through the smoke and disarray that had come of the wedding decor.

And he was right of course. She had learned long ago that her aunt Bellatrix would like nothing more than to see the light leave her eyes, and while Remus would be recognized immediately as another of aunt Bellatrix's favorite targets, the werewolf who married the blood traitor, Tonks at least had a chance to morph herself into someone perfectly unrecognizable and unthreatening. Remus knew it and wanted nothing more than to protect her and her child, though why she would have believed otherwise she had no idea.

A shriek of fury sounded nearby and Tonks spun on her heel, rushing to Ginny Weasley's aid. The young girl was head to head with a pimply faced youth that Tonks was sure she ought to recognize, who was throwing curses at the girl without pause, and though Arthur was fighting nearby it was clear he was in no position to go to his daughter.

"Hey!"

George appeared at her shoulder, clearly furious but eager, pushing forward against the rising tide of death eaters. Fleur blew past, her white gown filthy with dirt, tossed food and who knew what else, her Veela ancestry clear in her face.

An evil, spine tingling, high pitched laughter rose from the edge of the garden, beyond the reach of the dim, mood setting lights.

"Dora! Now!"

Remus was back, placing himself protectively between her and the place where they knew Bellatrix to be, as the death eaters gained the advantage with so few left to fight and those who had remained beginning to fall.

Tonks gazed into her husband's eyes and saw the dark, smoldering hatred that stirred inside of him, the only indication that he was anything but a man, and yet at the same time those eyes seemed to be pleading with her, to protect herself and their child and to spare him that much more pain, to put distance between them so that Bellatrix would not find her no matter how hard she tried, and so, as the most loyal of Voldemort's subjects drew forth into the tent there was not a young, heart shaped face to be seen,yet it seemed that one single Veela cousin had got up the nerve to stay behind and take part in a war that was not her own.


	16. Head first

I don't get to see her look surprised very often, her control is too good. So I find it quite rewarding to see her standing there with her mouth open as the old man faints to the floor. I bend over and feel for a pulse.

"His heart is still going" I say.

"Let's get him inside" she tells me, so I get ahold of him and drag him into the apartment so that Tonks can close the door, then haul him onto the couch.

"Wake him up" she tells me impatiently. I look to see if she is kidding, but of course she is dead serious. I look back down at the unconscious old man and wonder if it isn't easier to just leave him be. Thin as a rail and old as dirt, it's hard to believe this man was a ever a death eater, that fifteen years ago I might even have met him in battle.

"I knew this would happen" Tonks mutters.

"You were right" I tell her.

"Here, let me" she says, elbowing me aside and leaning over him. I move away to give her room, but at that precise moment the old man's eyes open, he gives a shout and leaps from the couch, knocking Tonks backward in her surprise and heading for the exit, but unfortunately for him and his masterful escape plan, he has to get past me too, and with very little effort I stick out one foot and he goes down onto his face and slides head first into the door.


	17. Werewolves

"The ministry sees it in the best interests of muggles and the wizarding community alike that the werewolfs should be identified, brought together and dealt with accordingly-"

"You can't be serious!" Tonks snapped, as usual unable to keep her mouth shut, ignoring Kingsley's hand on her shoulder as she stepped forward. The tiny, toad like woman smiled at her but it did not reach her cold eyes.

"Auror Tonks I believe?" she squeaked. "You have a concern about the manner in which we plan on dealing with these.." she shivered, "creatures?"

Kingsley's hand had fallen away. There was only so much he could do to keep the younger auror from doing or saying something she would regret.

"I certainly do" Tonks said firmly, forcing herself to keep her voice low and professional. "Not all of the werewolves are a threat. Many of them are children. They are just trying to survive, and punishing them all for the crimes of a few is ridiculous. You don't imprison a man for his cousin's crimes, and so you shouldn't punish a whole-"

But she was cut off as Umbridge help up a ring covered hand. "Your concerns will be taken under advisement, however, despite your clear empathy for these creatures, the fact is that they are dangerous and need to be contained."

The other auror's were shifting nervously behind her. Tonks' hair had gone red and she knew her cheeks were pink.

"Contained?" she said, professionalism forgotten, "What the bloody hell does that even mean? Some kind of camp? Enchantments? What? Why don't you just do it the old fashioned way and dig a ditch?"

A shocked silence fell throughout the entire office. Tonks crossed her arms and regarded the undersecretary through narrowed eyes. The woman's expression had changed from cold anger at being questioned to sickening sweetness, which frankly Tonks found more worrying.

"Now, Now, so dramatic" Umbridge purred, with just the thinnest hint of steel behind her words. "We have no intention of hurting any innocent people, I can assure you of that. I'm afraid there isn't much more I can tell you at the moment" she said, turning to go, but looking over her shoulder as she went. "But I'll be sure to inform the minister of your interest in the matter." She gave one last smile as she reached the door. Tonks felt Kingsley's hand close around her arm to keep her from going after the vile witch, and so she simply stood there for several long moments, breathing deeply and doing her best to redirect her anger.

"That's enough Dora" Kingsley said in his deep, calming voice. "You should have been more careful, but it's too late now, you've made your opinion known and there's not much more you can do at the moment."

"No" she agreed, "But this isn't over."

"It most certainly isn't" he said, and she pretended not to hear the concern in his voice.


	18. Cheers

"I'm awake!" Tonks said loudly, her head jerking up from the table as Remus dropped into the chair next to hers and Sirius took his usual place across from them, bottle of firewhiskey already in hand.

"I know you are" Remus replied easily. "No one could sleep in these chairs."

"Long night?" Sirius asked her, taking in her bloodshot eyes and and mussed hair and the way she couldn't seem to keep her head up unless it was propped up on her fist.

"You have no idea" she said, then glanced around at both of them, "Or maybe you do, you both look like shit" she told them unsympathetically before zoning in on the bottle in Sirius' hand. "You planning on sharing that?"

He grinned, sliding the bottle across the worn wooden table to her. "Sure thing, why don't you pour yourself a glass and then get me a straw for the rest?"


	19. Normal

If the noise in the kitchen were any louder, Tonks was sure it would reach up the stairs and wake Mrs. Black, who had already been roused a number of times that day, most of which had been Tonks' fault, though she didn't like to admit that she had been especially clumsy recently. She leapt the last four steps, surprised when she actually managed the landing, and then disappointed that no one had been there to watch, then pushed open the kitchen door to a rather ugly yet familiar scene.

Sirius stood squarely in the middle of the kitchen as though to demonstrate his ownership of the house, his face red and furious, his stance threatening and defensive in one as he stood face to face with Severus Snape. Unfortunately it was an annoyingly common occurrence for the two of them to take an argument so far and each reached for their wands as expected.

Tonks caught sight of Lupin who was seated at the table watching the argument with a pained expression. Why this still bothered him she didn't know but personally she was sick and tired of it.

As the two wizards proceeded to circle each other with wands extended, still exchanging biting remarks Tonks removed her own and waved it vaguely at the two men, who froze instantly in their furious stances, silenced by her curse.

"What did you do that for?" Lupin demanded in shock.

Tonks shrugged. "They needed a time out" she said, walking between the two human statues, smiling at each as though he were her own work of art.

"Besides" she said, turning back to her friend. "I thought we could pick up where we left off before you managed to escape last night."

Lupin's face fell but they both knew that he had no excuse this time. He sighed and gestured to the door, throwing one last glance over his shoulder at a rather solid Sirius. Tonks patted the same on the shoulder before following him out.

They didn't say another word to each other until they had reached the drawing room on the floor above. Lupin was already looking the worse for wear, running his hands uncomfortably through his hair as she closed the door behind her, confining them to a room together with no clear escape. She turned, crossed her arms and stared at him, refusing to be the first one to speak.

"Dora" Lupin finally sighed, using her name seemingly without noticing.

"Yes, Remus" she returned, "I believe you had just reached the part where you were telling me how you were no good for me and that I deserved better. You might remember having been there before with very little effect, or maybe you think that if you say it a few hundred more times it might actually sink in and I'll start to believe you, is that it?" she demanded.

"Damn it Dora!" Lupin snapped, and it was the first time she had ever heard him curse. He crossed the room swiftly, towering over her, but of course she stood her ground. He looked as though he wanted to strangle her, which might have bothered anyone else, but was a look that she had seen on many faces and that no longer bothered her.

He took a deep breath, steadying himself, before continuing. "What part of this are you not able to understand?" he snapped. "My life is a complete freak show. This is no place for a normal girl with good intentions. Believe me, I've been there before, you have no idea what you would be getting yourself into."

She couldn't help but smile. "Oh look" she said, "You're making a joke."

His anger was instantly replaced with confusion. "I wasn't actually" he growled grumpily.

Tonks cocked her head to the side, "Well Remus, you should smile more, then people will know when you're joking and when you're just being thick."

She could read it in his face, and a moment later she was rewarded when he obviously couldn't help but ask, "What are you talking about?"

She let her arms fall to her sides. "You might not have noticed Remus, but I'm not exactly normal by anyone's standards" she said, turning her hair from Pink to green in the blink of an eye. She closed the distance between them until they were standing so close together that she could feel his breath as he looked down on her with haunted grey eyes. "And my intentions are far from good" she hissed, reaching out and running her fingers down his chest with the lightest touch, then she turned on her heel and swept from the room, leaving him to stare after her.


	20. Understood

"Don't you dare play the misunderstood little werewolf, Remus Lupin, I won't let you do it! I might not be able to grasp the pain that you go through with every full moon, but there are things you'll find I do understand that might just surprise you. You should try me!"

The exhausted werewolf shook his head and headed for the door but when he reached out and turned the handle she shoved it closed forcefully, barring his way.

"Tonks, I get that you want to help me" he told her in exasperation," but there really is nothing you can do or say right now. I'm sorry. And no offense but you don't know, how could you? I would never want you to have to understand any of this, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."

He turned away, unable to look at her, facing the window instead that looked down upon a sleepy street. It was strange watching mothers pushing carriages and old men sitting on park benches, as though the world were that simple of a place. He wished that Tonks would leave him alone. The others managed it, and yet for some reason Dora was always there, underfoot, pressing him but it wouldn't be long before she too would give up, and he wasn't sure whether he would miss the constant intrusion or not.

"You come from a family that loved you more than anything, but who could never really understand or handle your difference, and like the rest of the world they found it hard to trust you because of it so they just didn't know what to do with you."

He jumped at the proximity of her voice, and turned to find her leaning against the wall behind him. He didn't know what to say.

"You keep everyone at arms length so that when you lose them, which you inevitably will, you can pretend that it doesn't change anything, because you'll never be equipped to handle that kind of pain."

She paused, observing him with violet eyes. He forced his expression to remain neutral as he watched her verbalize his life.

"You don't tell people what you are because you know that no matter how nice they are about it it's pretty freakin obvious to you that they'll never see you as a person again, that you'll always just be a freak to them, and honestly you would prefer it if they were openly hostile so that you wouldn't have to wonder if you're just being paranoid."

She broke off uncertainly, continuing to eye him.

"What else?" he said, his voice shaky.

Tonks nodded firmly and pushed away from the wall.

"While other kids dreamed of being special, all you wanted was to be as normal as they were, to blend in, because you've always felt alone no matter how many friends you've had and because you've never known anyone who is like you. Even when you do your best to hide it it seems that other people always know that there is something different about you and so you have never really fit in anywhere except maybe here, because people are afraid of anything that is different or that they can't understand."

She shrugged uncomfortably, looking past him out the window where rain had begun to fall.

"You've lived your whole life trying to make up for who you are, but you got lucky Remus, because no matter how briefly, James and Sirius and Peter challenged those beliefs for you, and now I'm lucky, because you've challenged them for me."

She offered him a small smile. "I'm sorry" she said, "I know I'm being a pain in the ass. I'll leave now." She turned to go, surprising him, and he had to reach out and grab her arm to stop her. She stared up at him, violet eyes full of surprise, then glanced down at the hand that held her arm. He quickly released her, but reached up a hand and brushed a piece of lime hair from her face.

Tonks smiled, taking a step towards him, and he refused the instinct to move away, instead closing his eyes as she rose onto her toes and kissed him, and alone was the last thing he felt as he slid his arms around her waist, feeling her warmth as their bodies pressed together, her hands knotting in his hair.


End file.
